The recent discovery of ‘archeology’ and the subsequent rush to excavate new dig sites and analyze artifacts have left millions of scientists struggling to cope, a new survey has found.
The Galactic Fact Office (GtFO) surveyed over 105 million scientists from across the galaxy and found that 60% reported significant levels of stress, citing ‘completely unsustainable’ workload pressures. 20% stated they would like to resign outright despite being locked into lifelong employment contracts, and 40% hoped to transfer to a less stressful job, such as being elected an empire leader.
Science faction leaders have called for drastic action and a major rethink by the Galactic United Nations (Galactic UN) to stop what has been dubbed by as ‘death by artifacts.’
“Before, scientists were already busy running research departments, exploring unknown space and undertaking special projects,” Perry Neum, General Secretary for the Unified Academies of Stellar Sciences, Exploration and Surveyance (UASSES) told Xenonion. “Now they’re also having to excavate entire planets for years at a time. Who thought this though? It’s really undermining the quality of research output.”
Image: The initial results of the GtFO’s survey of scientists
“I just need to get out of this job before it kills me. Literally. You know one of my colleagues got mangled by the Enigmatic Fortress last week?” Dr Iden Tiffyed, a scientist who wished to remain anonymous, told Xenonion. “I really wish I’d just trained to become a sector governor.”
Image: Dr. Iden Tiffyed’s helmet finally comes in useful not only for going incognito as an anonymous source in news articles, but also for undertaking underwater excavations.
The GtFO survey also asked what would make science jobs better, however no respondents replied as a major battle just finished with a Fallen Empire in unclaimed space and every scientist was put on priority alert to try and scavenge progenitor technologies.
A spokes-xeno for the Galactic UN has refuted the claim that scientists are overworked, stating the assignment of scientists to archeology excavations “is of critical importance to science", and should help to foster a “sense of pride and accomplishment” in the scientific community.
