Blorg Commonality to Compete in Earth's Football Championship

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The Human Football Authority (HFA) has confirmed the Blorg Commonality will be allowed to participate in the United Nations of Earth's (UNE's) 2251 Football Championship.

The Blorg have had a longstanding and overly attached fascination with human culture since first contact, and for years have petitioned the HFA to allow their species to compete in the human-only pastime.

The HFA previously rejected the Blorgs' request on the grounds they lack feet, which had been deemed as essential to play. However, following the Blorgs' pledge to assist the UNE in the War on the Unbidden, the HFA relaxed this criteria.

Football, also known as soccer or sphere kicking, is a traditional human game in which two opposing teams chase a small, brightly-coloured, gas-filled orb, also known as a 'ball'. The game takes place on a large, flat green-hued fescue field, locally known as 'grass', under Earth-like gravity. The two teams each guard one of two nets standing on opposite sides of the field, and points are scored depending on how often each team can penetrate their opponents nets with the orb. In an unusual twist, each team is only allowed to move the orb with their lower limbs, hence the 'foot' prefix. The team with the most points at the end of the game wins. 

The Football Championship runs annually in Earth's capitol of Ulm, with teams fielded from each UNE planet. FC Earth-Ryukyu and FC Horizon are the best known teams in the local cluster.

Image: The Blorg Commonality has already formed an intragalactic team and is currently in the process of recruiting players.

Image: The Blorg Commonality has already formed an intragalactic team and is currently in the process of recruiting players.

News that the Blorg have been allowed into the championships has stirred a buzz on Blorg Prime, with thousands requesting to participate, like Gunilla Miller, a freelance librarian on St. Knatchbull:

"I'm very excited! Football is so intriguing. I'm very interested in spheres, and I'm very interested in human legs. When the prospect of interacting with these two elements in the form of a game with our human friends came up, I just couldn't resist it."

The reaction among human football fans has generally been positive, as FC Earth-Ryukyu fan Misha Kontarsky told us:

"I think it adds something different to the game, having a team that doesn't have legs and can only slither across the pitch in a slow manner. Plus, it gives those poor human players over at FC Horizon a chance to finally win a match."

The announcement will likely pave the way for other non-human species to apply to compete, which in turn may lead to the creation of the first intergalactic sports association.

Tune in to our sports segment tonight for further coverage on the above developments.

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