The Commonwealth of Man (CoM) states it has “legally annexed” the planet of Jossk Prime after drop-shipping almost 2.5 million lawyers from high orbit.

This marks the latest development in the Commonwealth’s ongoing invasion of the Jossk Empire, which the Galactic Community had previously declared illegal.

Commonwealth leader Sidney Beauclair reaffirmed her belief that Jossk territory is rightfully human, and hoped the switch from traditional assault armies to battalions of prosecutors would not breach pan-galactic law.

Reptilian locals on Jossk Prime took little solace from this however, scrambling for shelter as the orange glow of dropships breaching the atmosphere streaked across the sky.

“It was horrifying,” resident Vako told Xenonion. “This ship landed right beside me and all these lawyers started swarming out, firing lawsuits indiscriminately. Those that couldn’t find cover got hit with multiple personal injury claims.”

Footage showed the Jossk military in complete disarray, having been overwhelmed with paperwork after a covert unit of Commonwealth employment lawyers were able to invalidate all personnel contracts.

Similar scenes of chaos were reported across major population centers, with trading suspended due to intellectual property disputes and hospitals crippled by medical malpractice litigation.

Xenonion reached out to Jossk leader Darassik, who pleaded for help before being summarily executed for breaching a recently issued lifelong non-disclosure agreement.

Commonwealth military command has praised “outstanding” actions of its legal branch, alongside announcing plans to arm elite units of lawyers with an entourage of judges and support jurors to expedite prosecutions.

The Galactic Community’s Supreme Court states it has yet to rule on the legality of the invasion, with its focus remaining on sourcing food as supplies continue to dwindle due to the 10,000 strong Commonwealth lawyer unit currently besieging it.