Submissive Pleasure-Seekers Beg For Yet Another War Of Humiliation
Representatives from the pleasure-seeking Schlurm species have appealed for interested parties to declare war on them for the purposes of humiliation.
A successful attack would mark the third such humiliation war in weeks for the adventurous species, whose culture glorifies pleasure in all forms.
“It’s hard to explain,” Schlurm representative Abigghor told Xenonion, “we’re just really into being dominated right now.”
The species began experimenting with sadomasochism three months ago, following an impromptu overnight raid by marauders.
“We had never experienced anything like it,” Abigghor continued. “Deep, destructive bombardment, over and over. It was painful, but we wanted more.”
Issuing a bulletin on the Galactic Community’s informal diplomatic messaging board, the Schlurm have appealed for open-minded local empires, specifying a preference for slaver guilds with access to “as many whips, chains and shackles” as possible.
The behavior has concerned neighboring species. “It’s perverse and dangerous,” Yondarim representative Plume of Teal told Xenonion. “Clearly they are in need of some corrective discipline.”
“Yes, discipline us, please.” Abbighor responded emphatically. “Let me also reassure any concerned parties that safety is our priority. If things get too heated, we use our safety word - ‘White Peace.’ It’s fool-proof.”
While the Schlurm have yet to receive a formal response to their request, the XT-489 Determined Exterminators have reportedly stated they are “down for experimenting.”
