Scientists Struggle To Identify Mysterious, Yet Stylish, Flat-Pack Anomaly

I - Header, News, Galactic UN copy.png

Scientists from Kersonia have confirmed they are struggling to identify a mysterious, aesthetically pleasing flat-pack anomaly that was found floating in deep space three months ago.

Preliminary analysis has confirmed the 82cm x 205cm x 82cm velvety grey mass, which appears capable of sitting three comfortably, is inorganic. Additionally, environmental stress tests have highlighted that its fabric exo-shell (73% polyester, 27% cotton) have particularly poor resistance to accidental wine spills and chocolate smearing.

Thelmar scientist Torig, who is leading the investigation on the anomaly, told Xenonion: “This structure is so strange. It seems perfect for stretching out and enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon, or cozying up with the family on a movie night. But why is it in space? How did it come to be there?”

Image: Scientist Torig and his team analyze the anomaly on Kersonia’s main laboratory.

Image: Scientist Torig and his team analyze the anomaly on Kersonia’s main laboratory.

Researchers were also shocked to find that the object appears to be made from cheap, easily sourced raw materials, which when combined can be assembled with minimal effort. Torig stated of this: “We are talking about a design here that is inherently complex, yet effortlessly chic, simple and affordable. The wider applications of this could change the face of the galaxy, if not at least my living quarters.”

At present Thelmar scientists are attempting to reverse-engineer the structure from an associated alien ‘blueprint’ that was found with it. Torig added: “We’ve named the object ‘KLIPPAN’ as this word comes up repeatedly in the ancient scrolls. We’ve spent weeks translating the texts, but the language is impenetrable. All we have so far is something about returning the structure to the point of origin within 100 days if there a problem with it.”

Torig remains pessimistic that the origins of the structure will ever be uncovered, stating: “We’ve all heard the stories about the ancient manufactories in the Gamma Nebula that became sapient and overthrew their masters by spitting out stylishly affordable products at an apocalyptic rate… but until we can see some concrete evidence of this, it merely remains a myth to be passed down the generations.”

I - Signoff, Ashley.png

I - Commercial, Church of the Worm.png